JANUARY: SET YOURSELF UP TO FAIL. Tell yourself that you’re
going to give up wheat/coffee/wine/going out forever and sign up to a really
expensive gym. January 1oth
go out and pig out on pasta, drink too much wine and never go to the gym for
the rest of the year. Fall into pit of self loathing.

 FEBRUARY: STRIVE TO BE PERFECT

It’s Valentine’s month and remind yourself at every occasion
that you’ve got to be perfect or you will never be loved, included
or respected.

MARCH: COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

By judging yourself and others, you’ll either get to feel
smug or

crap (but how often will you really allow yourself to feel
smug?)

APRIL: MAKE HAPPINESS CONDITIONAL

Constantly tell yourself and others: ‘I’ll be happy
when…..I’m

thinner/richer/more successful" etc.

MAY: START DIETING FOR YOUR SUMMER HOLIDAYS. Diets don’t
work. 98% of people who diet will put all the weight back on and some.

JUNE: SPEND ALL YOUR TIME AND ENERGY TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE
ELSE HAPPY.

Some of the time perhaps? Notice how much energy you

spend focussing on other people’s lives – mind your own
business!

JULY: FOCUS ON WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE. And talk about
it endlessly.

AUGUST: COMPARE YOUR BODY

with

the bodies of celebrities who work out 3 hours a day and have personal trainers
and dieticians.

SEPTEMBER: SPEND TIME AROUND PEOPLE who don’t love or
respect you.

OCTOBER: TRY TO PROVE THAT YOU’RE SOMEONE

by pretending to be someone you’re not .

A great strategy for constantly proving to yourself that
you’re not

good enough as you are.

NOVEMBER: LISTEN TO YOUR INNER CRITIC and lead your life

according to his rules.

DECEMBER: WRITE YOUR 2009 LIST OF ‘SHOULD’ GOALS – all the
things you know you should do if you want to be happy, healthy and successful
and force yourself to do at least 10 goals per week.