I’m on Hay House radio in 10 minutes…wish me luck.

I’m being interviewed by stand up philosopher Tim Freke on my new book.

so if you’re around 5pm today do listen in www.hayhouseradio.co.uk

Suzy x

It’s all a bit of a rollercoaster isn’t it? I’ve just got back from camping with my son and found myself sleeping under the stars and getting some perspective. All this angst, all this drama, all this he did/she did/I did what to him over there. It’s all the ego mind building huge stories that keep us stuck on the treadmill of being someone/doing something special/being respected/approved of/holding on to something that was never ours in the first place.

I think I’ve exhausted myself over the past few weeks with it all! I haven’t included it in my book but I should have – just lying on an airbed looking at the stars certainly gives a moment’s pause to all the mind’s grasping/grasping/grasping for more/better/more.

And it’s that moment’s pause that I certainly need to work on. Again it’s back to that second by second practice. The mind (or what I call the Inner Pessimist) seduces you/terrifies you with his stories. I get hooked so easily. I’m in the drama before I know it. My mother always told me I was a drama queen.

The trick is, I’m learning, is to pause. And observe. I’ve had a few ‘ah, bless’ moments about myself as I see myself get tied up in knots about something and nothing. And in the observing, something softens. And you can be kinder, more compassionate with yourself. It’s going back to one of the exercises in my book. Rather than going to war with your Inner Pessimist or  resisting him/believing him, you simply see or hear his voice as that of a terrified child. So you comfort him rather than sending him to his room.

This is the visualisation exercise. This is what I’m going to be working on in the next few days (rest of my life). Care to join me?

Imagine your Inner Pessimist as a little boy or girl – a child of around 6 to 8 years old. I want you to imagine that you are seeing the world and life through this 6-year-old’s eyes. What is your Inner Pessimist afraid of?

Rather than fighting with, chastising or sending this child to his or her room, I want you to imagine your Inner Coach comforting your little Inner Pessimist child. I want you to give that little child the comfort and love and encouragement he or she needs to stop feeling afraid and feel safe again.

No, there really is a monster under the bed, honest.

I want you to imagine you can hear the scared ramblings of a little child, and imagine your Inner Coach comforting that child. What does your Inner Coach say? How is it said? How can this scared little child in your head be comforted?

Your Inner Pessimist is scared. Scared witless So start being reassuring. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you do. Get your Inner Coach to look your little Inner Pessimist right in the eye and offer plenty of hugs and comfort until your Inner Pessimist stops being afraid.

This visualization works because when you allow your Inner Coach to comfort your Inner Pessimist, you are lighting up the prefrontal lobes of your brain and showing compassion and love for yourself. According to medical psychologists, it’s physiologically impossible for your mind to be scared while at the same time generating love and compassion.

I’m feeling a bit knocked for six this past week. So I’ve booked myself into a three day retreat this weekend. (www.simplyhealingcentre.com) where I can give myself some TLC.

All week, I’ve found myself starting to clear out drawers and throw out stuff. This weekend, I can focus on clearing my body and my mind a bit.

For me, it’s about focussing on what’s important. This week I have been reminded in rather an awful way about what really matters in life – the people we love. The rest is details. Stuff, more stuff, all the crap, that fills our lives and brains. None of it matters. And sometimes it gets in the way of what really does.

Here is an an exercise on de-cluttering if anyone wants to join me this week focussing on what IS important:

Step one: Ask yourself a big question. I have a theory that filling your life with junk is a great way of hiding. When you’re surrounded by clutter, it slows you down and distracts you. Clutter is a sign you’re afraid. Unconsciously, you distract yourself with falling over the small stuff so you don’t have to face the fear of dealing with the big stuff. The more clutter and junk you have in your life,  diet and in your cupboards, the more scared you are.

If the clutter around you is a distraction – what are you scared of? It can be of the next step, demons from your past, a big situation in the future that requires you to leap out of your comfort zone. Stop hiding in denial, stop hiding in the clutter and get real. Get out a piece of A4 paper and complete the sentence. Right now I’m afraid of…….Write for 10 minutes without taking your pen off the paper. Now you can deal with the real issue versus the symptom. Create an action plan of how to confront your fear head on – what do you need to do? Have a conversation with your boss? Talk to a counselor? Make a scary phonecall?

Step two: What is your junk currently costing you? This can be a very motivating question. What is your junk costing you – financially, emotionally, energetically and physically? Put a figure on it. This question very often makes me cry. But it definitely makes me take action.

Step three: Now tackle the clutter with this three question strategy? How are you going to do it? (I’m a big fan of Leo at Zen Habits, as you know. Click here for more practical stuff on the how.) When are you going to do it by? Why are you doing it? When exactly are you going to clear the desks? Create a de-junking weekend and get the whole family involved or set at time and date and commit to de-junking a corner/drawer/cupboard in one hour with a friend and then report back on your progress. Friends can help you be more ruthless. Stick the answer to the ‘why’ question around your house. It is incredibly motivating to know the real reason you are de-junking is because you ‘want to make space for wonderful new opportunities to flood into your life’ or to ‘clear your house and mind so you can make the big decision’.

I am heartbroken. My friend, mentor and screenwriting inspiration Blake Snyder (www.blakesnyder.com) died suddenly of a heart attack yesterday. He was only 52. I adored Blake – he inspired me to write and was one of life’s good guys.

I quoted him in my Big Peace book because I was fascinated by his take on story and transformation (in fact, it was just what I was talking about in my blog post yesterday.)

“All stories are about transformation,” said Blake. “All stories are the caterpillar turning into a butterfly in some sense. All stories require a death and rebirth to make that painful and glorious process happen.

And it occurs in movies … and in life.

We transform every day, re-awaken to new concepts about the world around us, overcome conflict, and triumph over death … only to start again each morning.

It’s why stories that follow this pattern resonate. Because each day is a transformation machine and so are our lives.”

I met Blake over three years ago when I decided to follow my flow and do more of what I was inspired to do – I wanted to write a screenplay/visit Cornwall/ celebrate my birthday. I googled all three and discovered Blake Snyder, a Hollywood Guru was coming to Cornwall on my birthday. Coincidence or pure synchronicity?

I spent four days with Blake and we went from coming up with a ‘logline’ of a film to writing out a 40 card structure. I have since written the screenplay called Half Man and am awaiting feedback from agents.

Blake was not at all what I expected from a Hollywood guru (big cigar, cowboy hat?) No, he was the sweetest, kindest, most spiritual man – who just wanted to see everyone on the course create and fly.  We went on to become friends and colleagues when he launched The Storyville Club for me, (my writing events in London).

Again, a delight to work with, and to be with. Fun, generous, enthusiastic and he could really make you laugh out loud with his tales of Hollywood life.

I cannot believe he has gone. He was a shining light not only in the Screenwriting world, but in my world.

I will miss you, Blake.