I had a complete wobble yesterday. I had an attack of the inner pessimist. I’m writing a novel and am hoping to get a big chunk of writing done over the Easter holidays. But my inner pessimist had other ideas. ‘Don’t bother, it’ll be crap, ‘ he said. ‘Don’t waste your time. You’ll just make a fool of yourself.’
After all this time working on myself, I’m always amazed how vicious and real the inner pessimist can seem. ‘You’ll never write a novel,’ he shouted at me. ‘Ha! You? I don’t think so. Not talented enough, not creative enough, not imaginative enough. Leave it to the real writers,” he sneered.
I felt rather glum. Our inner pessimist can be such a dominating force in our lives. He (some of you have a female inner pessimist but mine is male) seems to be so knowing, so certain. And when you’re feeling wobbly, fragile, he seems to know it and looms large in our lives.
Luckily for the last 3 months, I’ve been facilitating Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way with a brave bunch of Big Leapers. So I left my inner pessimist moaning on in my office to take the dog for a walk, to regroup a little.
I walked and thought and focussed on making that big leap of thinking. Which as always is the leap from inner pessimist thinking to inner coach thinking. This time my inner coach had the voice of Julia Cameron.
Have you any idea how old you’ll be by the time you finally write this dratted novel, sneered I.P. ‘The same age you will be if you don’t,’ quips Julia Cameron. Focus on the process, not the end product, she urged. Just get to the page and write your words every day.
” But, but, but….” Stuttered I.P.
Put down the block, says Julia Cameron. “Rather than paint, write, dance, audition, and see where it takes us, we pick up a block. Blocked we know who and what we are: unhappy people. Unblocked we may be something much more threatening – happy,” says Cameron.
I came home from my dog walk and choose to put down my blocks and make a choice to be happy. I have no idea if I will write a book in 21 days but what I do know is that I can pick up a pen every day or get to the keyboard and see where it takes me.
If anyone would like to join me, we start tomorrow.
http://www.thebig-leap.com/21_days_to_write_a_book.phtml
If you’d just like to be inspired by Julia Cameron, listen to the interview I did with her last year.
www.bigleaplife.com/audios/juliacameron.mp3
Don’t forget The Big Leap Challenge starts on 3rd May. Join us!
And 21 Days to Write a Book starts this Friday.
Suzy x
Here’s my mate’sCaroline Green’s trailer for her new book Dark Ride out May 4th (May the fourth be with you!)
21 Days to Write a Book, starts this Friday.
http://www.thebig-leap.com/21_days_to_write_a_book.phtml
Join us if you want to write away over the Easter Holidays.
If you want further coaching this Spring, I’ve just launched my new courses for 2011.
I’ve decided not to run my Platinum programme until October 2011 so I have time on my hands so have created a ‘Big Ticket’ – 6 x half hour telephone coaching sessions with me to be taken before 1st July. I’m only going to be working with a handful of people so do sign up quick if you do want to work with me in the next 3 months.
http://www.thebig-leap.com/the_big_ticket.phtml
We’ve also got The 21 Day Big Leap Challenge starting on the 3rd May. This online coaching course is for anyone who wants to make big leaps in the space of 21 days. We’ve had some amazing successes on this programme from house moves to book signings.
http://www.bigleapchallenge.com/suzy/hug.html
And talking of books. There is a flurry of competitions happening in May and June so I’ve decided to create an online version of the 21 Days to Write a Book in April. I’m away for a week so wanted to get stuck in and get my novel shaped up. If anyone wants to join me, I’m running the course online from the 8th April.
http://www.thebig-leap.com/21_days_to_write_a_book.phtml
I look forward to working with you,
Suzy x
‘As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live’ – Goethe
I have a theory that often we are out of flow in our lives because we’ve got out of the habit. We grew up living our lives by someone else’s rules, and put our lives on hold while we deal with a long list of shoulds so that we never have time to indulge our own ‘flow’.
Do you REALLY know what gives you a sense of fulfilment and gratification in your life? Now look at the list below and tick the statements that speak to you:
• It takes you hours to make a decision (because deep down you haven’t got a clue about what you really want/what’s really important to you).
• You constantly end up doing things you don’t want to do – and you resent it
• You always search for an ‘expert’ to help you – you never trust your own instincts.
• You appear to ‘have it all’ but still feel something is missing.
• You envy enthusiastic and passionate people – what are they getting so excited about?
• You feel directionless.
• You dread going to work every day but you do it because it pays the bills.
• You hate going clothes shopping because you don’t know what suits you.
• You find yourself bitching and gossiping about other people because it makes you feel better about your own life.
• You’re surrounded by people who bitch and gossip about other people. (You’re often scared that if you leave the room, then they’ll be bitching and gossiping about you.)
•
If you ticked two or more of the above, it suggests that you’re out of touch with the real stuff that will give your life meaning, satisfaction and purpose.
For the last exercise in our 10 day coaching programme, I want you to ponder on death!:
If you were on your death bed – and had lived the ‘ultimate life’ – describe that life. Are you married? Who are your friends? What kind of career have you had? What kind of adventures have you had? Write for 10 minutes without taking your pen off the paper.
What do you really want to create in this life? It can be specific or it can be more general, but make it heartfelt. Leave what you’ve written in a drawer and then read it back a few days from now. What is your heart craving to create? A life of significance? To contribute? To simply be loved?
Ok, it’s a rather a dramatic way to end the 10 days Spring into Spring programme but I hope that the questions over the past week have given you fulfillment fodder and also a strong direction for you to take in April and beyond.
Happy Spring 2011.
I wish you happiness, health and fulfilment.
Suzy x
“Tutor: What does it feel like when you’re dancing?
Billy: Don’t know. Sorta feels good. Sorta stiff and that, but once I get going … then I like, forget everything. And … sorta disappear. Sorta disappear. Like I feel a change in my whole body. And I’ve got this fire in my body. I’m just there. Flyin’ like a bird. Like electricity. Yeah, like electricity.” – Billy Elliot
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a psychologist from the University of Chicago, studied thousands of people for more than 30 years to discover what makes our lives meaningful and satisfying. From his research he wrote a book called Flow. Flow is what he describes as being involved in an activity which gives us a narrowing of attention, a sense of being absorbed and a feeling of transcendence.
The great news is that any activity can lead to flow – playing a game, listening to music, writing a novel, etc. And, in spite of the huge differences in the activities themselves, those who’ve experienced it – from meditating Koreans to motorcycle gang members, chess players to sculptors to assembly line workers – describe the psychological components of gratification in notably similar ways:
• Focusing on a task is challenging and requires skill.
• You have to concentrate.
• There are clear goals.
• You get immediate feedback.
• We have deep effortless involvement.
• There is a sense of control.
• Your sense of self vanishes.
• Time stops.
Today, I’d like you to consider what gives you a sense of ‘flow’ in your life. What makes time disappear, what challenges you and requires skill?
You may know immediately the things that give you that feeling of flow. How often do you spend doing your flow activities?
“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life… Therein he cannot be re-placed, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” Viktor Frankl
Today, just ask these questions and let’s get you back in touch with your passions:
• What was your childhood dream before everyone told you that what you wanted to do was ‘unrealistic’ and to take your head of the clouds?
• Who did you viciously envy recently and why? Envy is a great tool to tell us what we really want – what have they got that you want?
• What are you naturally good at – what do you do effortlessly?
• What do you love doing – when you do this time seems to slip past effortlessly?
• Is there anything you have seen on the television or read about in a magazine or newspaper that stirred your interest?
• What are you passionate about?
• What did you love doing as a child?
• If you didn’t have to prove that you were good enough, what would you do with the rest of your life?
That’s all for today.
Ok, in the last 7 days we were looking at filling our life tanks. How did that go?
Even if you just identified what tank needed a bit of TLC, then we’re making progress. If you’ve taken a little bit of action – a baby step or two – then brilliant!
The aim is to fill ALL your life tanks up to 8/10. Take small baby steps. Small incremental changes can make HUGE differences so focus for 5 minutes every day on working on your life tanks – make a phonecall, set up a family meeting, do one scary thing a day – but just fill, fill, fill those life tanks. It creates the foundation which enables us to leap. The more our life tanks are filled, the easier it is to make the BIG LEAP.
Today – re-score yourself. Draw a circle and split it into 5 segments and label each segment: time, space, love, energy and money. Colour in each segment according to how full each tank is. Colour to the outside edge if your tank is over brimming and you have more than enough. Give a score for each segment too. 10/10 is completely full. 0 is completely empty. Compare your circle to last week’s. Have you made any progress in filling your life tanks? What worked? What didn’t?
Today, focus on what worked and do more of it.
Filling Your Money Tank
“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that,” Norman Vincent Peale
Answer the following:
• If you had more money in your life – what would that look and feel like?
• How much more money would you like? Be specific (£100 extra a day? £1000 more a month? A million in your savings account?)
• What thought, thing or habit would you have to let go of to create more money in your life? (Track your spending? Spend less, earn more – how?) Be specific.
• What one thing would you have to do or think differently to create more money in your life?
Big Visualisation.
Just close your eyes and imagine that you have waved a magic wand and that you have more than enough money in your life.
Imagine – as if it has already happened – what you would feel and look like if you had more than enough money in your life. How would you get up in the morning, who would you spend time with, what would your day look like, what would be the highlight of your day, how would you spend your evening, what would your bed-time routine feel and look like?
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